How to Deal with the Overwhelm

I suspect you've had this experience: too much to do and you feel overwhelmed. You don't know which important task to address first. It may lead you to scare off and do something else (for your own enjoyment) or spend your time on something that doesn't need to be done, maybe even a time-waster like playing word games online. Or you start one of the tasks, then jump to another, then start another in an attempt to do them all or several, partially, all at once, which just increases the overwhelm and the fluster and causes more spinning at a faster pace as people pile on more and more and you're feeling less and less, but it doesn't end, it just keeps going and spiralling into more and more work and none of what you do is very good and you feel bad about the job you’re doing, but it just keeps coming and you can't make it stop. STOP.

Has that feeling ever crossed your path?

What can you do when there's too much to do?

Start with a breath. In and out. Acknowledge the world is not going to end if you can't execute all your tasks perfectly. When you’ve accepted that there are limits to your superpowers, write out everything you can think of you need or want to do. [If you're wondering if you need to do this on your phone or a white board or real pen and paper or special app... then you might need a different blog post. But for now, just pick whatever medium is most instinctive, natural, or closest at hand.] Write down every task that’s swirling in your head.

I think it was David Allen who said a task list should have actions on them, not things. “Bathroom” is not something to do. “Clean the bathroom” is. Edit your list to make all your tasks start with verbs.

Now that you've got this list, visible and tangible in front of you, take stock. Is it as insurmountable as you felt? It might be. But more often, I find that it's not. The monster you imagine is always scarier than the one you can see. The magic comes with taking all those imagined shadows of tasks and looking at them in the eye so we have a realistic sense of what they are.

Okay, now with your visible list, start grouping tasks in categories that are logical to you, related to how you might tackle them. Your groups might be chronological (that is, do first, second, third), categorical by action (for example: cleaning, buying, making, transporting), or by location (for example: in the kitchen, outdoors, at the office, around town, online), or by critical factor such as a triage system (for example: do in the next hour, today, tonight, tomorrow, within the next few days, this week). Whatever makes the most sense to you, right now, without a lot of thought.

It’s likely that a plan of attack is starting to emerge. If not, stick to the triage system to identify any critical tasks that might impact health, safety, dependents, or other people. Once those tasks are out of the way, (because you've done them, not because you've killed off the dependents), pick the easiest task on the list. “Easy” might mean something on the list that can be completed and crossed off immediately. It could be the simplest task on the list—the thing that requires minimal brain power or effort. “Easy” might be the thing you want to do but feel guilty because of competing tasks that are less attractive but also important. The point is to pick anything on your list and start with something rather than feeling overwhelmed by everything.

For me, creating the list so I have the visual steps needed in front of me instead of in a nebulous brain cloud of thought, flittering in and out, helps me grasp what I'm actually dealing with. Putting tasks in an order gives me a sense of control over the tasks. It's the element of control, real or illusionary, that calms the sense of overwhelm. Get some control over something, somewhere, and you'll feel better (as long as no one gets hurt in the process).

It's the element of control, real or illusionary, that calms the sense of overwhelm.

Overwhelm sometimes happens for a particular task, not volume of tasks. Occasionally there's a project we're supposed to work on, and we think, “Where do I even begin?” Or, we're bombarded with all the options we could start with and aren't sure which one to do first. In this latter situation, take the approach mentioned above (write down all the options, then organize them and start with the easiest or most obvious). For the former situation of not seeing an entry point, I recommend the following. I think of this situation as “the messy room.” Like when a room at home is filled with clutter and garbage and important useful stuff, and you need to clean it: it’s so full that it’s overwhelming. The task feels monumental, time consuming, and there's no starting spot. A new work project can feel like this, too. Any project that can't be completed in a single sitting yet has one overarching action (such as cleaning up or writing a book) applies. In these situations, an approach like the pomodoro works.

Here is how I apply the pomodoro technique: if it's a really heinous task, I put ten minutes on the timer, otherwise twenty minutes is my preference for the first round. (Do whatever length of time you can stomach.) Set the timer, start the task, and stop when the timer goes off. Then do something you want to do for the same amount of time. Repeat at a later date. Don't leave it ambiguously “later,” but a scheduled “later” that same day. Or the next day. Repeat. Stretch the time or ignore the timer altogether when it goes off if obligations permit. What's magical about this approach for me is that cleaning up that cluttered room feels so daunting but doing whatever I can in twenty minutes is feasible. So I start. Starting is usually the hardest part. I often find I go longer than the initial time I set, but even if I stick to the prescribed time, I'm satisfied I at least spent twenty minutes on the task. In that twenty minutes I also learned the task might not be as daunting as I’d first feared, which makes me more willing to tackle it again later, or the following day or whatever the schedule allows.

That’s how I work through the feeling of overwhelm when there’s work to do. If you’re looking for help muddling through an overwhelming task, book a coaching call with me. I’ll help you identify what’s blocking you from starting, and we’ll find the entry point that will help you get started on reasonable, tangible first steps.

I’ll make that task easy: just click the button.

 Legal Disclaimer: [Insert all the caveats about how every situation is different, and some cases are significantly impactful, others are more severe, some are serious life concerns, others are boundary-related or cognitive and require real psychological help. This post is about more trivial stuff that makes up a happily ordinary life edging into overwhelm but before serious issues (including poor mental health) arise. This article is for the mundane life; serious issues are not addressed here. If you need help with serious issues, you’ll need to find another website.]